Plagg gets fed up
by TrickyTrixx
Summary: Dealing with teenagers and their drama wasn't in the agreement when Plagg was sent back out into the world. After months of hearing nothing but pining from his chosen, Plagg had had enough. What is a Kwami to do though. Well, maybe this.


**A/N: A random thought between myself and a few friends turned into an obsessive need to post this. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Do I own Miraculous. No. No I do not. Because if I did the reveal would have happened and they would have REMEMBERED! GAH!**

**Also, newest chapter for "Love gets a little loss" is in progress so no worries on that.**

* * *

Drama. If there was one thing in the world that Plagg despised more than mediocre cheese it was the incessant need of humans to complicate their lives with drama. It seemed that each human was born with a desire to feel angst and riddle their minds with chaos, which for the eons old kwami, the all-but-god of destruction, was mind-numbing.

_How could a species function in this regard?_ For thousands of years Plagg almost wished for the days when he could be left in the Kwami plane, a place where no humans could walk. Somewhere he was safe from drama. Or at least he had been for several millennia until the other Kwamis had discovered 'theatre.' All it took was a word from Trixx about how humans had developed a method of storytelling involving scripts and actors and the like and suddenly each member of their race was desperate to experience it for themselves.

The worst one of all had been Tikki. His opposite, the god of creation. Her desire for new things, for creativity, had her dreaming up stories all of her own. She made thousands of them during the times when they were in-between owners. He hated them all. He also read them all at the insistence of his Sugarcube. It didn't hurt that he was left with so much time between his own holders that he needed stuff to do but dammit if it wasn't like pulling his tail. Of course any of that paled in comparison to what he was being forced to go through right now.

"I just don't know what to do, Plagg." The teen's voice had taken on an annoying nasally quality that made the catlike Kwami's fur stand on end. "I love Ladybug so much that it literally hurts not being able to see her all the time."

Plagg wanted to scoff at his young holder. For some reason teenagers tended to use the term 'literally' far too often and it was never 'literal' he noticed. _"I literally died" _was one of the more asinine ones he had heard at his chosen's school. Every time it was uttered he wanted to fly out of the bag and make an honest human out of them.

"You don't even know who she is." Shaking his head, the kwami flew over to the nearby mini-fridge and hauled out a wheel of cheese roughly three times his size. "You humans and your relationships. Loving cheese is so much better." Opening his mouth far too wide to be possible by any normal animal, the miniature flying cat shoved the entire wheel into it. His messy eating habits sprayed gobs of cheese onto his chosen but the distracted boy didn't even notice.

Instead he kept his gaze on the computer screen he had been staring at for roughly an hour, scrolling past one image of Ladybug after another. "I don't need to know who she is beneath the mask. Her name doesn't matter. I know _her_. She's brilliant and kind and sweet and creative an-"

"Okay let me stop you right there, lover-boy." Greedily swallowing the globby mess, Plagg smacked his lips together savoring the delicious flavor before floating back to his holder. "If you want to know how to be with Ladybug, you're going to have to do one thing. And it's probably one of the most challenging things you'll ever end up doing so think hard about it."

"What?!" Adrien's relaxed slouch over his computer desk shot up into a rigid form as if the boy had been struck by lightning. "You know how I can find out who my Lady is?! I have to know! What is it? I'll do anything!"

"You need to convince her you two can expose your secret identities." He watched with an almost impish glee as the glowing look on Adrien's face fell like a stone.

"But…that's the one thing she said she'll never do. Not until Hawkmoth is defeated."

_'Defeated. Yeah like my sanity if you two don't get together soon.' _As much as Plagg wished to scream the name of the boy's partner out to him just to get it over with, he knew the magic of the Miraculous bound him to silence on the matter. But words were not always necessary, he knew. He just needed to play his cards right and the young blonde would fold.

"I know. And I can tell you that's all Tikki's doing. Ladybug's Kwami," Plagg explained at Adrien's sudden look of confusion. "Creation to my Destruction." Zipping around to stare the youth directly in his eyes, the miniature god assumed the most serious expression he could muster. "If you want to be with Ladybug, all you need to do is get her to drop her mask and you yours. I promise you she will be yours in a heartbeat or-or-…" he looked around wildly before his eyes landed on. A discarded wrapper. "I won't eat camembert for a week. I'll stick to Brie and the less wonderfully smelling cheeses."

Adrien was naive, but he was no fool. Even if the plan did not work out properly, he was guaranteed to at least get a week off from the revolting dairy smell. "Deal."

"Okay. Here's what you need to do. After the next Akuma…"

* * *

Plagg was rather pleased with himself. Since most of his holders were usually above adolescence when they were given tom him, dealing with the hormonal cries of a teenage boy was certainly trying on his patience, but he now had a plan. He had managed to survive the worst drama ever sent his way and it was nearly over. He could practically dance he was so happy.

That was until Hawkmoth seemed to take a vacation.

After dealing with Akumas on nearly a daily basis, the sudden three week hiatus was concerning to the kwami. Not that he didn't enjoy the extra naps and time to pig out on all of his favorite snacks, cheese cheese and more cheese. But he also had to deal with the incessant whining again about how they hadn't seen each other in 'forever'. This time even more insidious since the teen was adding in his concerns over the plan.

"But what if it doesn't work? What if she suddenly hates me for trying to find out?! She'll stop being my friend. My partner! I'll lose her forever and we'll never get married or live in a penthouse apartment. The two, or maybe three kids will never be born OH MY GOD THE HAMSTERS! The homeless hamsters! Think of the Hamsters, Plagg!"

Plagg buried his head as deep under the pillows as he could. _'I swear I'm going to cataclysm myself…'_

Finally, _finally_, after nearly a month, an Akuma attacked. It had ended up being a young child about nine years old. It had also been probably the strangest one they had ever experienced. The boy had been teased by his classmates for being afraid of spiders. Upset at once again being made fun of, he had run away only for the purple butterfly to land on him and transform him into a being that could transform into others worst nightmares to scare them just as he had been. Unfortunately for Hawkmoth, the young boy was afraid of more than just spiders.

After the first of his tormentors had caused him to transform into a creepy clown, the akuma had been so scared of himself that he practically threw his akumatized object at Ladybug when they arrived. The whole 'battle' had lasted in the negative numbers which was a first. They were grateful though as it meant no cataclysm or lucky charm was needed and they could spend a few minutes before having to disappear.

"My Lady, would you mind if we went somewhere to talk? I have to ask you something." The hesitation and nervous rubbing of the back of his neck had a tiny spark of familiarity flashing in Ladybug's eyes but she quickly shook her head and agreed. The two raced off through the city before finally coming to a stop on top of Notre Dame, a favorite place of theirs.

"So Chat, what's on your mind?"

"Well, um. Ladybug, I've known we've talked about this before but I…I wanted to ask you if…if um-"

Suddenly Chat's body was engulfed in a bright green light before quickly fading away to show Adrien Agreste standing there shocked beyond belief.

Plagg floated up between them rubbing his face. "Oh no. Sorry kitten, I sneezed."

"You…sneezed?"

Adrien was so surprised that he didn't even register Ladybug's whispering to herself. "A-Adrien?!"

"Yeah, I sneezed," Plagg said unconvincingly.

A bright pink flash suddenly brought Adrien and Plagg's eyes towards the girl opposite from them before a similarity shocked Marinette stood there while a pissed off red kwami zoomed straight for Plagg. Grabbing the black cat-like figure by the shoulders, Tikki shook him thoroughly.

"A sneeze?! We don't even have noses, Plagg! You revealed your holder's identity on purpose!"

Plagg could only grin smugly. "You mean how you just did, Sugarcube?"

Tikki froze in mid-scolding. Letting out a shrill squeak and a hasty "Oops," her guilty eyes slowly turned towards Marinette who had yet to break her own gaze from the blonde boy in front of her.

"Mari?" Adrien's breathy voice came out a hoarse whisper, as if he was scared that merely speaking the word would cause the girl to disappear.

Marinette waved shyly. "Hi."

Adrien waved back, a dopey grin on his face. "Hi."

"Oh for Kwamis sake!" Plagg shouted out startling both humans. "Just kiss already so I can get a decent night's sleep for once!"

The two teenagers smiled gladly, coming together for a moment that Tikki could only describe as "Beautiful" and Plagg could only sigh in relief.

* * *

_*Later that night*_

"I love Marinette so much Plagg. She's brilliant and kind and sweet an-"

Plagg collapsed onto the pillow. "I want to die…"


End file.
